February Isn’t Too Late to Start
Have you set goals for the year yet? Not yet? It’s fine!
Have you ditched those plans you already? Things happen!
Not a goal setter? Allergic to making plans? This post definitely won’t be for you. Save yourself some time. That is, of course, unless you’re just here to learn more about me. If so, read on.
I’ll say it again - February isn’t too late to start. Hell, I’m starting this blog in February - and I meant to start it SIX YEARS ago. So, here we are…
I’m writing this because I love to write, I love to read blogs, and I love to be in conversation and community with people who are interested in similar things.
I’ll do an intro post later, but for now, know this: as a 41 year old single woman without kids, I am so sick of everyone’s expectations. I’m also sick of trends, and deeply interested in what sticks. A large part of my professional career has been around helping people get their lives together and many times, even when people were PAYING ME for my help, I still had to drag them along. I first got the internet at home when I was 12 or 13 (thanks AOL) and started by first e-zine a year later. I started blogging when I was 15. I was on Xanga and Livejournal and Friendster and MySpace. I’m the same age as Zuckerberg - I, along with everyone else on my college campus, waited with bated breath for Facebook to expand outside of the Ivies. I lived on the internet. I LOVE the internet. But each year, it becomes harder to stay truly engaged - especially when it comes to social media.
Notice in December and early January how your FYPs were FULL of people doing recaps and goal setting and sharing plans? Have you already clocked that by February it gets really quiet on the topic in comparison? That’s because it’s not trending anymore. There’s this intense focus on it and everyone piles on - then they move on to the new thing to be “obsessed” over for a few weeks. It’s easy to get swept up in the madness and so, if you didn’t get your act together before your feed moved on, you can easily feel behind and that maybe you shouldn’t even bother since a twelfth of the year is already over. Rubbish.
It’s not too late to spend time thinking about what you want for your life.
This post will be a long one, so here’s the preview:
I’ll share my goals (which I’ll probably break down in other posts and on social later)
I’ll break down my process
I’ll encourage you to find your own process and pace.
My goals for 2026
This year, I want to:
Travel outside of the US at least once
Visit at least one new city in the US I haven’t been to
Give everything in my house a home
Use what I have (use it or lose it, baby!)
Volunteer
Read more books than I did last year (20 last year…my goal was 50)
Weigh less on Dec 31st than I did on January 1st
Lift heavier and climb higher
Pick up a new hobby or skill that I stick with (for at least 6 months of the year)
Make more single friends - or at least more “NK” friends
Go to the opera!
Commit to my “ideal day” plan
Explore what libraries have to offer - besides checking out books
My goal setting process for this year
Here’s how I approached setting my goals for 2026:
I reviewed how last year went
I assessed how this year is going so far
I didn’t pick goals that were too easy
I didn’t pick things I have a good chance of NOT accomplishing
I embraced who I am, where I am, and what my life is.
Let’s get into it:
I reviewed how last year went - I built up a consistent workout habit by the end of 2025. I found what worked for me with food/nutrition, but once I deviated, I spent the last half of the year off track (and putting back on all the pounds I’d lost). I joined a community organization and am building new relationships (friendships). Through various means, I acquired way more stuff than I used up/donated/threw away.
I’ve assessed how this year is going so far - I gave myself a slow start. Though I don’t do resolutions, it’s VERY hard to resist the “new year, new you” energy all around you. And because planning is part of my bones (and my career), I actually had to work to NOT set goals right away. I had to let myself just be. I truly do mean it when I say this: January 1st is just another day. It’s just a new calendar page. Your life CAN change in a day, sure. But that could be ANY day. And thinking ALL of our lives collectively will change on January 1st is completely unrealistic.
Sorry, Betty, no fresh starts around here!
What’s most important is taking time to get clear on what you want, writing that plan down in some way, and doing what you can to work toward it. Because, if you’re not going to do the work, why waste your time?
Let me tell ya, I am SO glad I didn’t set goals on Dec 31st/Jan 1st! I have no idea when you’ll read this, but it’s mid-January 2026 (with some minor edits in mid-Feb) when I’m writing this - and thus far it has SUCKED. From my point of view anyway. As an American, I find myself pissed off most days (but I, hopefully, use that energy for good). I wanted to “close my rings” (IYKYK) every day this year, but when my Apple Watch didn’t log several hours of me standing (which seems to happen more frequently these days) and I didn’t reach my Stand goal on January 2nd…does that mean I have to throw the whole goal away? Of course not.
Even saying that sounds silly, but those are the kinds of hurdles we place in front of ourselves to jump over.
Then, during my second or third workout of the year, I managed to…lift weights incorrectly I guess (??) and my arm was killing me for almost five days - I couldn’t do any workouts beyond walking. Then, I had to drop things three times in the span of less than a week to assist an ailing parent. This crazy week(ish) - the first full one of the year - had already thrown everything I had mentally set as a goal right out the window. I had to take a deep breath, consider everything that’s led up to this moment, and get realistic about what’s possible.
I didn’t pick goals that were too easy - goals I had over the last few years (attend one event month, workout 3 times a week), have not only been accomplished, but they’ve consistently been maintained (yay me!). I joined a community organization and I meet with them no less than once a month. So attending one event is not a stretch. It’s now part of my routine. I workout 5 to 6 days a week and walk 6 to 7 days a week. Give or take the rocky period where the aforementioned parent’s health took a turn, the week I got COVID, etc, I stuck to that in 2025. And I’m proud of that. So my goals have to be different (hence the lift heavier and climb higher).
Some things served me well and my goal will stay the same - as a person who has spent their entire adult life dealing with depression, life already feels challenging as a baseline. Throw in a bunch of other challenges and you can often find yourself wondering “why put in the effort?” So sometime in the middle of last year, I decided that by the time I sat down on Sunday nights to plan my week, when I looked at my calendar, there needed to be SOMETHING on it that I was looking forward to.
To start, the easiest thing I could do to check off this goal was registering for an event, or meeting up with a friend. As mentioned, the events became routine. This year, the tactic can’t be that. From this place, I decided that I want to continue to fill this new year with things I’m looking forward to. So, same goal, but hopefully lots of great new outcomes.
I didn’t pick things I have a good chance of NOT accomplishing - inspired by one of the few influencers I follow who doesn’t drive me crazy, I thought taking a trip each month was a great way to spend 2025. Welllll, Jan and February were a bust and when trying to make plans with people who didn’t come through (more on that below), March also passed me by. Then - the caregiving began and I was ushered into a new phase of life that I knew would come, I just hoped it wouldn’t be this soon. (I think this is a big issue for SINKs. Should we use this space to talk about it more?) So, I had already failed on that goal by Feb 1, but didn’t lose my hope until April.
I did make it out of town twice last year - which is a sharp decline from a few years prior, but is also more than most people get to do. I still have travel goals, but they are more focused - leave the country again, visit a new city (I am a sucker for going back to that bar, that park, that store I loved in that town I’d visit again and again).
And yes (unfortunately), weight loss. I’ve wanted to lose 20 pounds for probably 15 years now. I was at my heaviest a couple of years ago (many of us packed on those pandemic pounds), and while I’m down from that, I’m still far above my pre-pandemic weight and way above where I was a decade ago. By now, I know my body - it’s slow to lose weight and it’s even slower to change shape. But I’m committed to doing it naturally - no drugs, unless a doctor finds some underlying issue and THEY suggest it for my health.
That means doing what I can: staying consistent with workouts, getting back on track with food and going to the doctor to make sure there aren’t underlying issues (next check up - thyroid!). I want to lose 20 pounds, but that number leads to disappointment year after year. If I do what I set out to do, I should weigh less at the end of the year than I do today and that will be fine with me. I also got a body scan on Dec 31st so that even if my weight on the scale doesn’t change, I can track how I’m doing in terms of body fat, etc. And learning that my bone density is great was a nice little “yay” to end the year on.
What all this means for my goal setting is: I embraced who I am, where I am, and what my life is.
This can be one of the scariest (or hardest), but also one of the coolest parts about being a SINK (single income, no kids). Mental fatigue is real. And when it comes to goals and planning, way too many reels popped up on my feed in December about couples planning together. How nice for them :-) I mean that with all sincerity. They have someone to share the mental load with. They can bounce ideas off of each other, keep each other realistic and come to agreements. One of the things that’s always on the forefront of my mind regarding most areas of life is that when you’re a SINK, its all on YOU, but that also gives you the privilege of focusing on what YOU want. So, when I’m planning and thinking about finances for example, there’s no income other than my own (oh, how the DINK life seems so nice sometimes…many times). There’s no one to split the bills, no one to take on more home tasks while I put in more time on work or side projects. Or vice versa (I can’t cut back on work and spend more time building a home while my man is out working for that bread).
But, on the plus side, I get to look at what I make and what I want to do - and I have the complete freedom to decide what kind of life I want to live. I don’t have to compromise and I don’t have to keep anyone fed other than myself (compromise is not a bad thing, I’m just saying…). There’ve been countless times I’ve wanted to take a trip, chatting with a friend who has also been interested in visiting that destination and the conversation paused with “let me check with my husband” and never picked back up again. Sigh. When you’re a SINK, if you want to do it, you can decide to do it. Just you. No partner schedules, no babysitters to pay for, and (for me, as a pet free person), no doggy daycare eating at my budget.
Of course, if you need (or want) to use guides or books or tools to help you set your goals, by all means, I encourage you to do it. These can be really helpful. I think the thing to avoid is all the books and planners just becoming other things you spend money on, or the process becoming another thing you do because you think you “should.” When I settle in to think about my goals or make plans, it motivates me, it inspires me, it keeps me looking forward. I don’t view it as a burden.
Based on my personal and professional experience, a lot of people use these tools, fill them out and then abandon them, rather than referencing them throughout the year to help keep their goals in sight. I’m sure you’ve heard at least once that most people abandon their new year resolutions and goals by February 1st. So, do what works for YOU to help you keep moving. That said, for work and pleasure, I’ve read countless books, ordered a variety of free and paid digital tools and bought dozens of planners. If you’re seeking recommendations, I have them - just leave a comment or send a note.This post was long enough with an added book recs list…
I’ll break down the thoughts and intentions behind my goals separately (I know many of them seem vague, which is what a lot of experts warn against). I’ll also talk about why I haven’t planned the whole year this time around.
And if you prefer to get your content in a more bite sized manner, you can find me on Instagram and Threads.
But I hope this helps you think about how you’re approaching the year - no matter what day you read this or when you decide to start. Today is better than tomorrow and sometimes you have to start before you’re 100% ready. But enter your goal setting/planning focused on what YOU want - not what others think you should want - flex that SINK privilege!