Welcome to the SINK Chronicles

SINK: Single Income, No Kids

Welcome to the SINK Chronicles! This isn’t what I thought my first post would be, but hey! Life isn’t what I thought it would be either.

I’m downright embarrassed to admit it but - I had this idea over six years ago and I’m only kickstarting it now (hell, I originally wrote this post in December 2024, after our US Presidential Election and never published it!).

As I approached 35, I started spending A LOT of time thinking about not only my future, but what the lives of people like me are like. Single women, no kids (for whatever reason). And for me, the extra layer of being a Black woman in America. At the time, I was also a full-time small business owner/entrepreneur.

Damn near every day, I think about what this could have been by now if I’d only started sooner. I’m an overthinker, I can’t help it!

I’m 41 now. I miss the way the internet used to be. I begged my mom to get AOL when I was about 12 or 13 and I’ve been using the internet as a way to connect and to express myself ever since.

Back then, my days were spent in AOL chatrooms and on their message boards. I had plenty of friends at school, but they weren’t always SUPER HYPED about the stuff I was into. The internet made it easy for me to find people who were passionate about the same things I cared about. I started a music zine and actually had a couple dozen subscribers, which is kind of amazing to think about. A guy I knew from the message boards ended up going to the same university as me (he was a year or two ahead of me though), and we became in person friends - had a few classes together, hung out with mutual friends, and we’re still (very loosely) connected to this day.

Next stage was LiveJournal which really kicked things up a notch - it was the first platform (that I remember anyway), where I had a space to post what I wanted, when I wanted. It could be short or long. Full of text or a series of gifs (my favorites were from Memento, The X-Files and Trainspotting). I had my own space, but could pop into others and engage with them. And there were communities where you could find likeminded people. A few LJ connections moved to other online channels and our communications carried on for years. And one person I met on dear old LJ also became an in person friend and we’re still good friends to this day.

Next up were Myspace and Friendster and then Facebook. I appreciated Facebook because it gave me a way to connect with high school friends I’d lost touch with. It was still a small community then - only college students with a school email could sign up at that time. Today, I wouldn’t touch the platform with a 10 foot pole (though that didn’t happen until shortly before the pandemic).

Twitter was the next place where I found community online. It was fun and interesting. Quick and witty. A great way to get news hot off the presses. It was so easy to connect, find interesting people and actually enjoy being on the platform. I made countless online connections and several that, once again, became in person connections - clients, colleagues, collaborators, and friends. There were meetups and tweetups and Twitter conferences and networking events. It was wonderful.

Even online dating was different then. But let’s not delve into that swamp just yet.

I find myself online these days and I feel like I don’t recognize the internet (or the world), and I wonder, “have I changed?” And while, I’m sure I have - really, it is the internet that’s changed.

Bots, trolls. More than you can count. AI slop. Rage bait. Obscene amounts of clickbait. And influencers. So many influencers. While I can only “blame” myself for taking six years to launch this first post, it’s influencer culture that I allowed to derail me and doubt there was still space for me on the internet (kind of a dumb thought when you say it out loud).

I saw a post from Influencers in the Wild back in 2024 that said there are over 12 million “full time” influencers. That is outrageous to me. Who are these people? How are they doing this full time? And is this why the internet feels like such a cesspool these days?

To be clear, in general, I don’t have a problem with influencers - for a while, when I was actively running my business, I was somewhat of a niche influencer myself. But it was never my full time job. I had a business and I spent a chunk of my time talking about things I loved that I found valuable - which is exactly what I did on Twitter, on Facebook, on LiveJournal, and on all my old blogs.  And hey, I still follow several influencers who have content I love. I’ll probably share links to them every now and then, because I love to share.

But when I really stop and think about it, “influencing” as an idea has turned the internet - social and blogging in particular - into practically nothing but sales. There is so much content. Mountains and mountains of content. Not enough time in the day to scratch the surface. And a huge portion of that content is selling you something (whether the creators are transparent about it or not). And to me, what makes the selling worse are the all the tricks and tools and gatekeeping that these creators “have to do,” because that’s how they make their income (all 12 million of them).

You open Instagram and someone is demonstrating their workout. Hop to the comments and you’ll see “cute outfit, where’s it from?” And instead of an open conversation it’s “send me a DM” or “grab the link in my bio.”  You see a housekeeper walking through the aisles at a store telling you what to buy and not buy. And if you dig a few reels down - it’s clear that what they are recommending are products from companies that sponsor them. You tap into a reel of 10 fall outfits - and it’s all new clothes the person just “unboxed.” But tune in tomorrow for a whole new haul! Or the home influencer who seems to be changing their decor and furniture every week. Don’t worry, the links to everything can be found in their stories.

We’ve moved from community, conversation, and brands popping in now and then to sell us something - to just being sold ALL THE TIME. Social media feels like nothing but a sales pitch. Review blogs are full of products that were gifted. That amazing travel vlog you. just watched was a sponsored trip. That haul is full of clothes that will either get returned (and end up in a landfill) or get tossed in a few months (and end up in a landfill). Brands now have an almost endless salesforce working for them 24/7.

Social media used to be social. While I firmly believe that everyone should have boundaries and no one owes you anything, this world where people post content but don’t engage (because really, the goal is to sell, not be social and build community) is just not the space I want to play in. I can’t undo the culture shift, but I also don’t have have to let the wave pull me under.

As we approached the holidays and the holiday sales season (oh and life post-election 2024), I finally reached my breaking point. I needed to carve out that space again where community and conversation were the top pillars. I needed space again where I could say what I want to say and not be caught up in “did this offend that friend who saw my story?” Or “will this get me a lot of traffic?” And now, in 2026, I feel like I’ve “broken” again - and here we are! Finally launched.

My hope is that by Field of Dreams-ing this, by building it, the people will come. Like they did on AOL, LiveJournal and Twitter. Maybe one person will relate to the content,  maybe more will. Maybe we’ll share book recommendations or dating horror stories. Maybe we’ll trade travel tips or I’ll turn you on to something or some idea that helps improve your life in some way. That’s what I want from my internet, my social media.

So, there will be more to come about what this platform will be, who it’s for and why I came up with it, but I couldn’t wait any longer to press publish on this first post.

Here’s a little of what you can expect from SINK Chronicles:

Musings on and recommendations for home, work, travel, entertainment/pop culture, relationships, etc. All of this through my lens as a SINK.

The evolution of this site is different than what I first envisioned and it’ll probably morph again, but for now, there will be a lot of questions, reflections, learning, resources and, hopefully conversation. I don’t even know if people really actively comment on blogs anymore, so I do invite you to chat it up with me any time over on Instagram or Threads. Maybe other platforms in the future.

I will recommend things I love that, and some in the future, may have affiliate links or referral codes. But with that, know:

A) They are all things I’ve paid for (as, nothing has been gifted, there’s no PR, no sponsorships. I’ve paid for everything, not been reimbursed or asked to talk about it. And my bank account reflects that. Ha!) If that changes, you can expect me to be VERY clear about sponsored content)

B) I don’t believe in gatekeeping. I actually love telling people where I got things. I love talking about the things I love.

C) This isn’t my job - so yes, using my links on the rare occasions they pop up is appreciated, but I’m not sharing things with you so that I can pay my rent. I’m sharing because that’s what I like to do and it’s fun for me.

I also hope this journey of creating this space and sharing connects me to people with a similar outlook and values. If that’s you, say hello! If you know of some social accounts or blogs I should check out, please share!